Random Thoughts While Working at the Boise State University Library During the Super Bowl:

• I decided if I were ever to get a tattoo-which is unlikely-I’d get text, and it would be one of the following: “They is, they is, they is” (the final line from Tobias Wolff’s short story “Bullet in the Brain”); “So it goes.” (from various Vonnegut works, often used to express “Shit happens. Get used to it.”); or “Poo-tee-weet?” (from Slaughterhouse Five, often argued to mean “What’s the point?”).

• “The world needs plenty of bartenders” is true, and there should be absolutely no shame in this. If everyone were a CEO, we’d all be doomed.

• I am suspicious of people who do not have at least one guilty pleasure. Anyone who admits that Proust is their favorite read but refuses to acknowledge publicly that they love UFC fighting, listening to American Top 40, and watching Robocop late at night is not only lying to the people they know, but also to themselves.

• 15 seconds for an emergency door to release and open seems like an awfully long time. Especially when what you’re running away from isn’t a fire.

• I like Henry Ford because in his later years he insisted on keeping everything he owned so that nothing could be falsely stated about him. His museum holds thousands of boxes of his personal letters, artifacts, bank slips, etc. It would take a lifetime to go through, which is probably why a new biography is written about him every couple of years.

• I like Alfred Sloan because he did the opposite of Henry Ford-he destroyed everything connected to him and wrote a single autobiography, thus giving the world only one opinion of him-his own.

• Henry Ford and Alfred Sloan do a good job at representing everything about humanity: either you can put everything you have out for everyone to see, or you can show people who you are with the limited evidence you present in everyday life.

• I don’t know why I enjoy old stuff. One reason could be its resistance to disappear.

• As much as I appreciate all forms of music, I’d take Original Scores or Classical music over everything. To understand why, try this: take the soundtrack to Road to Perdition and either walk or drive around for fifty minutes. Then, on another day, take the soundtrack to Requiem for a Dream, and follow the same path you did when listening to Road to Perdition. Without lyrics, you get to write your own narrative.

• It’s fine to look for differences in people, places, things-but don’t forget to look for similarities too.

• I don’t know where I’ll be in five years and I’m perfectly fine with that. To lay out a plan feels like giving up on the adventurous, exciting element of life. It’s as if saying “I hope to make $80,000 a year in five years” is the only reason you’re alive. There’s got to be more to it than that.

• You can find interesting qualities in everyone, even the people you may greatly dislike.

• I don’t remember the exact moment when I was able to hold thoughts independently, but I do remember when I became consciously aware of blinking. 6 years old. Top of the stairs at my parent’s house. There is a point here, although I’m not sure what it is.

• The only self-less job I can think of is a volunteer fire fighter. The things you see with that job…there’s no selfishness in this.

• If you can find silence-true silence-take full advantage of it. You may never get the opportunity again, as police sirens and crying babies and heating ducts are everywhere.

The 7 Habits of Handling a Recession Effectively

Every single person in your life has been talking about the recession. Admit it. Your boss. Your spouse. That fellow on the Home Shopping Network. Your banker. Your priest. Your dentist. The Circuit City. The newspapers. Superbowl ads. And, lest we forget, the woman standing at the bus stop who sighs “economy”, as if a new coined definition of the word is “complete and utter damnation.”

What’s more painful than hearing about the recession every time you decide to wake up in the morning is the fact that all of the people above seem to think they’re presenting you with information you may not have known about. As if you slept through September and October of last year. As if you somehow overlooked the tens of thousands of people getting laid off every week. As if you missed the “Liquidation Sale! Everything Must Go!” signs on Mervyn’s, Steve and Barry’s, Linen and Things, and Circuit City storefronts.

Then there are the folks—again, often the same ones listed above—who decide to give you pointers on how to survive the recession, since apparently most Americans needs someone to tell them to cut back on dry cleaning or manicures to save money. Most of these pieces of advice are straightforward that can be summed up with this basic equation:

Cut Your Everyday Expenses + Find Cheaper Alternatives = Save Money

Ta-da.

And there are entire books dedicated to this equation. I just saved you $20. Now I’m going to save your sanity. Follow these 7 Habits of Handling a Recession Effectively and you’ll get out alive.

1. Don’t suddenly start listening to commercials. For the next few months (or possibly years) every commercial you see—regardless as to whether they’re pushing the latest 3G phone (which you don’t need) or McDonald’s Big Macs (which you also don’t need)—will tell you how rough the economy is, and how they’re product is different from the rest, primarily because they, as a company, are here to help you. This is from advertising 101. “We feel your pain. We’ve changed. This is how it’s going to be different.” But it’s not different. Companies are obviously suffering just as much as the consumer (i.e., massive layoffs, bankruptcy, liquidation, etc.) and while it’s not necessarily a bad thing to try to stimulate the economy through sweet offers and soft language, the businesses you’ve relied on for so long have not suddenly become buddy-buddy with you. And if they have it’s because they want something from you. Like money.

2. Repeat #1 with the newscasts. Again, over the next few months you’re going to have news specials that focus on “Money and You” or “How to Budget Effectively” or “The Worse is Yet to Come.” Every person who’s ever gotten a master’s in economics or business school is going to suddenly become a well-regarded source that will tell you his or her predictions on the market in the next few months. But, as the name somewhat implies, these are only predictions. No one knows for sure what’s going to happen. So don’t beat yourself up trying to figure it out. There will also be these “specialists” who will tell you how to budget effectively (sans me, of course—I never said I was a specialist). Most of these specialists are saying the obvious—don’t go to restaurants as much; cut down on the spa; buy a bike if you live close to work; eat leftovers; and so forth—which is fine, but again don’t expect miraculous solve-alls. Because they don’t exist.

3. Watch Cinderella Man. Pay Attention.

4. Get used to off-brand foods. Every helpful tip coming from specialists often tells you to start buying off-brand products. This is only part true. You should not suddenly buy off-brand electronics, like Sorny or Magnetbox televisions. Chances are they’re made poorly. But you might want to consider off-brand foods. Food is pretty hard to screw up, especially something like canned corn. Compare any off-brand company to any major brand and you will see that a majority of the key ingredients are exactly the same. Usually the food tastes the same too, and when it doesn’t, well, start training your body to like it. Don’t try an off-brand product once and give up on it. Wean yourself into trying it for a couple of weeks. Chances are you’ll get used to it. The body gets used to certain foods and food brands and, in a way, grows dependent of them. Sometimes it takes a while for you to break habit from it (see any dieting 101 book that doesn’t guarantee that you’ll “Lose Weight Fast!” and it’ll probably say the exact same thing). The first few days (or weeks) of eating food brands you’re not used to may be tough on your body, but over time your body adapts. I think this is a pretty important thing to keep in mind: Humans adapt.

5. Drink cheaper booze (or no booze at all). You know why Budweiser is labeled the “King of Beers?” It’s not because of the taste (God help them). It’s because it’s one of the few brewery companies that survived the Prohibition (Stroh’s being another one, although they survived by making ice cream). That, and surviving the Depression. Cheaper alcohol is easier to swallow while considering the sorrows of unemployment. Yes, microbreweries are great, but we’ve become spoiled with them. There’s at least one in every state, sometimes several in one city alone. Over the next few months they may cut back production or disappear completely, but cheap beer will likely continue to be around. Don’t go for malt liquor, but at least give Pabst Blue Ribbon, Hamm’s, Stroh’s, or Schlitz a second chance. Keep in mind, though, that this isn’t like off-brand foods. There’s going to be an obvious difference in taste. But a 30 pack of Hamm’s for $10 versus a six pack of Oberon for $8? Save the microbreweries—and high end wines and liquor—for the very special occasions, like wedding anniversaries, or Saturdays.  Just pretend your in high school or college again. You’ll get used to the taste of warm vinegar and piss water. Guarantee.

6. Read basically anything by Dickens. If you want to be more patriotic, then Steinbeck (The Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and Men, East of Eden, and so on). Don’t believe in buying a book? Try a library. They usually let you check things out for free.

Finally, and most importantly,

7. Don’t stop living. Honestly. Killing yourself or your loved ones due to the stress of losing your job or the economy going to hell isn’t the way to go. If it was then everyone would’ve died out during the Great Depression. But people survived that little hiccup on top of the Dust Bowl, so I’m sure we can survive a mere recession. Humans have the ability to do a lot of neat things, and one of them is to survive through tough times. If we keep that in mind, we’ll be fine.

“Hopeless emptiness. Now you’ve said it.”

I’ll be blunt–I think Revolutionary Road needs to be viewed as a period piece.

Many critics have stated that the movie lacks anything new (the title to the movie alone implies something spectacular, something we haven’t seen before), since Revolutionary Road is basically a movie about suburbia and the suffocation that occasionally comes with it. This is not unique news, at least by today’s standards. There are plenty of films with the feeling of being “trapped” in suburbia. Edward Scissorhands. Donnie Darko. American Beauty. Far From Heaven. And so forth. And, of course, there are those living the movie–living in a world, in a neighborhood, that they are not happy with, that they are suffocating in.

In a way, Revolutionary Road is 48 years too late. The novel was written by Richard Yates in 1961. Back then, the idea of suburbia was new. Nuclear Family. Wife. Husband. 2.33 kids. A nice house with a green lawn. The idea that you deserve this, that everyone deserves this, but it comes at a cost–the inability to move through life freely without the ties of your home life holding you down. The collective response that seems to come from critics in 2009 is this: “Well, duh” (which in itself is kind of sad—have we become so used to unhappiness that we don’t even have a will to fight against it anymore?)

I’m not going to criticize Revolutionary Road for the fact that it doesn’t bring anything new to the table. It’s not supposed to. It’s a period piece. A slice of the “American Dream” in the 1950s. A prequel to American Beauty, before man becomes really selfish (but not necessarily in a bad way) and said, “To hell with it, I’m going to live my life and this lawn and  job isn’t going to stop me.” Revolutionary Road is the trial run of breaking free, a testing of the waters before completely jumping in. It takes 38 years for Mendes’ man to get it right with Lester Burnham (American Beauty). In a way Frank Wheeler and April Wheeler are like the parents of Lester, and as with anything in history you’re supposed to learn from the generation before you and build on it. Of course it could be argued by some that Burnham may not completely break free from the bonds of monotony and suburbia in American Beauty, but he comes pretty close.

Mendes got the same treatment when Jarhead came out. That movie, which was released in 2005, got a negative reception because it didn’t answer questions posed by the current war in Iraq. Plus there was no action. No explosions. No shoot-em-ups. Just a bunch of Marines sitting around in the desert masturbating, drinking water, and going crazy. What can I say? The movie was trying to capture something that wasn’t the run of the mill war epic. It was instead giving us this message–war can be tedious, boring, mind numbing in ways other than shock and awe. Critics didn’t like this. Viewers felt deceived (and rightfully so, I suppose, as the creators of the trailer to Jarhead did a bang up job making the movie look like it was nonstop action). But Mendes nevertheless did his job. He stuck true to what Swofford wrote in his memoir, Jarhead, and he stuck true to what Yates was getting at in Revolutionary Road.

Now. For the nerdy part: Was it a good movie?

Yes. Not fantastic. Definitely not American Beauty. But it was good. The acting from DiCaprio and Winslet, as usual, was wonderful (sidenote: enough with ragging on DiCaprio for Titanic. He proved he was a good actor with What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and has been doing a pretty good job ever since). Michael Shannon, who played the psychologically “unstable” John Givings, earned that nomination for Best Supporting Actor (though I assume that win will go to Ledger). Kathy Bates was great, as usual, and everyone else did a great job too.

Thomas Newman had a pretty good score, although again it doesn’t even come close to American Beauty, Road to Perdition, or Shawshank Redemption (the Wall-e score, which Newman also wrote, earned an Oscar nomination over this soundtrack, and I think that was the right call).

Roger Deakins did a nice job with cinematography (reflections in the sideview mirrors of cars and in windows, standing behind the characters during thought, etc.), but, like Newman, it doesn’t compare to his other work with the Coen Bros (No Country For Old Men) or with the often overlooked Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.

The screenplay was what I was worried about the most. Justin Haythe has only written one other movie, The Clearing, and I heard that was so-so. But Haythe didn’t disappoint. He stuck true to Yates’ writing and didn’t try to make it anything more than that (which could have been a disaster). There were a couple of things cut from the final movie–some beneficial, others disappointing–but the screenplay overall worked. Again, it wasn’t anything new, but how could it be if you were sticking to Yates’ original interpretation?

I’m very happy that they ended the movie just as Yates ended the novel. It’s a moment that can be compared to The Great Gatsby (Vonnegut’s thought, not mine), and I was worried that it would be overlooked. It wasn’t. Awesome.

There are flaws in the movie too, none of which may be anyone’s fault. I mean, it’s tough to transcribe Yates beautiful language on film without getting a voice-over narrator to tell us exactly what the characters are thinking. And there are moments where the action falls flat and monotonous (although I will argue part of that is intentional, hence again the entrapment of being in suburbia). And the climax to the movie does happen very suddenly, and ends just as fast without the viewer able to digest it all. But if I were to put “bad” on a scale with “good”, I’d say “good” weighs significantly more. I’d recommend it. Not for a spiritual uplifting film, to say the least, but just to get a taste of a 1950s you may not know.

And now for something completely different:

If you had to make a choice in which movie to see at the theaters, I’d recommend The Wrestler over everything else I’ve watched so far. Aronofsky had his big break with this one. It’s too bad the Oscar nominations didn’t recognize it as one of the best films of the year. Because wrestling and Micky Rourke can do no wrong.

Bullet Points: The Wave of the Future

Random thoughts.

• I tip my hat to Mr. Chesley B. Sullenberger III (aka “Sully”), his co-pilot, Mr. Jeffrey Skiles, and the rest of the flight crew, for successfully landing US Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River yesterday with no fatalities and minimal injury. Also, the FDNY, NYPD, EMS, and everyone else who pulled passengers onto ferries and boats and delivered them safely to land. Now…media: it was an amazing story. Miraculous, even. But please, please, please stop trying to scare the bejesus out of everyone who flies by mentioning “bird strike” every five minutes on the air, and by talking about how 1549 could have gone horribly wrong in scenario A: ice on the river; B: crashing on land; C: panicking and landing the plane too fast or awkward of an angle; and so forth. It didn’t go horribly wrong–it went exceedingly well. Let’s not jump to any other horrific conclusions beyond that.

• David Fincher did a good job directing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It has a different tone compared to the rest of his films (Alien 3, Se7en, Fight Club, Panic Room, and Zodiac)–innocent, and at brief moments uplifting–but it still maintained a dark and mysterious Fincher feel to it. Not sure about the political weight at the end of the film, though. Maybe it was just me but he (or the screenwriter) might have been stretching it a bit.

• Used bookstores will eventually ruin me. Over the past few weeks I bought about thirty used books, a large portion which came from Snowbound Books in Marquette and Kings Books in Ferndale. It’s grown into a Michigan pastime. And an addiction.

• There was an article in The Flint Journal a couple of days ago that talked about how a few corporate employees in the Big Three are conflicted with gas right now. Apparently since gas prices are low this winter, a few people are wondering if it’s worth it to invest in building hybrids. Here’s my two cents: Don’t fuck around. Build the hybrids and don’t worry about gas prices. They will go back up in the summer. I guarantee it. You start dismissing fuel efficiency again and you’re going to shoot yourself in the foot, get gangrene, and die a horrible death.

• Every time I re-watch Michael Clayton I like it more. I think it’s one that grows on you over time.

• My parents’ van does not have a CD player in it, and the tape player doesn’t like the CD adapter I have. So I’ve listened to a lot of All Things Considered and American Top 40 these past few weeks while traveling to Royal Oak and Grand Rapids and Marquette. I learned two things in my experience: 1) I should listen to All Things Considered more often. Even when the news is horribly depressing, Michele Norris and Melissa Block keep a calm, relaxing tone in their voices, which is a bit better than the explosive-action-packed TV news stations; and 2) I owe Top 40 an apology—either it’s getting a little better, or I’ve grown a little more accepting of it these past few years. But enough with the voice fluctuation effect already. Yes, Lil’ Wayne did it. And then Kanye West did it. But it doesn’t mean everyone and every song has to do it.

• The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut was the best novel I read over break.

• Not-looking-for-a-fight-just-curious question: Why is it that US banks can take bailout money and say “We don’t have to tell you a damn thing on how we’re using this money” while the Big Three got yelled at for over two weeks before being demanded to present a written, detailed bailout plan? I don’t think “Because the Big Three can’t be trusted” it not a legitimate answer, considering the condition of our banks in America right now.

• Check out Girl Talk if you haven’t already. He’s an experimental electronica artist who uses sound bits from previously recorded songs from artists–like T.I., Kenny Loggins, The Rolling Stones, Outkast, M.I.A, Lil’ Wayne, and Metallica–splices them together, overlaps them, etc., and creates a whole new song out of it. Kind of like Danger Mouse’s Grey Album (The Beatles’ White Album mixed with Jay-Z’s Black Album) except with continuously shifting artists. His newest album, Feed the Animals, is one continuous song split into 14 tracks. You can listen to it on his website—http://www.myspace.com/girltalk – and can also buy the album there for whatever price you want to pay (like Radiohead did with In Rainbows).

• If Gran Torino is Eastwood’s last starring film, I think it’s a great end to his career. God forbid it is, but I like where Eastwood went with this one. It almost feels apologetic. Or maybe the rules have just changed.

The Times We’re In: A Poetry Analysis

About a month ago, I was billed “Entertainment” for the E(nglish) M(ajors) A(ssocation) Annual Fall Banquet. The theme was “The Great Depression.”  It took me a while to figure out how I was going to make the Great Depression entertaining while somehow applying it to modern times. Luckily, the economy was tanking at the time and the US Government was on the verge of admitting that the nation was in a recession.

The obvious entertainment solution was to compare and contrast the 1930s to 2008. To do so I made a PowerPoint–because nothing says “entertaining” like a PowerPoint presentation–that took various themes from both time periods (i.e., comedy, the auto industry, the Secretary of Treasury, literature, movies, etc.) and did a side-by-side comparison. I think it went well.

I also wrote an essay, the focus of it being on a poem I found that I thought discussed the current current crisis we’re in well. I read it as a literary analysis. And I was very serious when I read it. Because it’s a very serious situation.

Anyway, here’s the essay in its entirety. Enjoy.

<!– @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } –>

“There is a timeless poem out there that I believe portrays both the 1930s Great Depression and Current Recession that we’re going through. Of course the poem doesn’t literally say that it’s discussing the economy, but using English major literary analysis, I believe I found a pretty good interpretation. One which, I guarantee you, is not BS.

We begin. The opening lines of the poem:

“Hey Girl // Is he everything you wanted in a man?”

Here, the poet uses characters to portray a female/male relationship. This relationship symbolically explains the economy and its subsequent downfall/crisis. “Hey Girl” should be read as “Hey Economy.” And “Is he everything you wanted in a man” should be read “Is the crisis everything you wanted in a crisis?”

The next line of the poem is, “You know I gave you the world.”

Here we’re introduced to a new character—“I”.

“I” equals the common man as an investor. Perhaps someone engaging in insider trading. Perhaps someone who fudged numbers a bit to make profits that weren’t there.

Thus, in this line the poet is saying “You know, Economy, I gave you the world.” The last half of this line is literal. The investor does give the economy the entire world. He or she lets it run rampant. No barriers. Of course, this is a poker chip thrown into the Game of Chance. When you give something like the economy power over everything, it’s not long until the economy makes the “I” its bitch.

Knowing now what characters represent what symbols, the poem is pretty straightforward from here.

“You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can’t seem to understand
Thought it was me and you, baby (baby)
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong”

The poet is again writing from a common man investor persona. This investor-man feels betrayed. He’s put so much into his relationship with the economy and it all seems to come back to bite him in the butt. Naturally, he’s a little upset with this, as shown in the next two stanzas of the poem.

“Don’t wanna think about it (uh)
Don’t wanna talk about it (uh)
I’m just so sick about it
I can’t believe it’s ending this way
Just so confused about it (uh)
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can’t do without ya
Tell me is this fair

Is the way it’s really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Shoulda known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It’s breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you’re living a lie
But that’s ok, baby, cause in time you will find”

I pause here with the reading to discuss the final line of this section of the poem, because it’s perhaps the most important line in the entire epic piece. Pay attention. I quote,

“What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.”

This final statement has been disputed by scholars for quite some time. Some believe that it is a warning to the reader of the economy’s moodiness. It crashed once and it will, of course, crash again. It happened in the 20s and multiple recessions throughout the years have followed, including our most recent in 2008.

Other scholars, however, feel that the poet isn’t warning the reader of the economy’s sporadic moods. Instead, some believe that the poet is sending out a warning message to the economy itself. You see, what goes around, comes all the way back around. These final words, “comes all the way back around” sheds a grain of hope into the fallen man. It is with this, then, that the poet is simply saying “Hey. Economy. You may have me by the cojones now, but someday you’ll lose your grip, and I’ll be just dandy.” We will rebound. We will prevail.

The poet did write music along with his epic poem. Another fellow scholar, a gentleman named Timbaland, was said to put some “mean beats in that dope shit.” Unfortunately records of these original “mean beats” have been lost. However, I do have an acoustic interpretation of the music that goes along with the poem, which I would like to play for you now. Of course, I will not sing the song, because singing it would simply be a slap to the poets face.”

I then proceeded to play “What Goes Around (Comes Around)” by Justin Timberlake on the piano, making sure to emphasize the line “What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.” Consequently, I think I made my point clear.